Archive
From The Archives: 140 Words (more or less) About Satire and Hyperbole
This is a post from a couple of years ago. Twitterific Thursday used to be a one of my favorite posts each week.
It’s Twitterific Thursday where I attempt to write 140 words or less about a subject.
Two things I love are satire and hyperbole. Satire is using sarcasm or irony to basically poke fun at something in an effort to expose it. Jon Acuff is great at it over at his Stuff Christians Like blog. He uses satire to poke fun at a lot of the stuff we do in the Church. He even wrote a recent blog post about how to do it.
Hyperbole is making a huge, obvious exaggeration. Something along the lines of “I drove 120 miles an hour to get here” when you only drove 80. That’s hyperbole.
You have to be careful about the use of these things. Why? They have potential to not be understood by anyone else. Who is to blame? Yourself. Get someone to read your satire and hyperbole. They may be able to catch potential hazards for you.
Do you enjoy satire and hyperbole?
From The Archives: If The Preaching Police Show Up
This is a post from a couple of years ago when I still tried to write some funny posts here and there and thought I would be the next Jon Acuff instead of the one and only, Larry the Deuce.
A little over a decade ago I announced a call to ministry. This followed wrestling with my decision and what it meant for me. Would I? Wouldn’t I? How do I know? This process dealt with lots of questions and few tangible answers. Then our pastor at the time did the next logical thing.
He led our church to license me just like all preachers since Peter and Paul have been licensed. I do not think Mary was ever licensed, but I digress. (If you didn’t get that one, well I just feel sad for you.)
I have never pastured a church. Nor have I pastored a church or preached in a truly official capacity either. I’ve made a few cameos and pitched in when needed. But I have never been a regular preacher in a regular church setting.
However, I have had a regular preaching gig now for eight years now. I lead and preach at a service at local campground. I do this each week May through October. One question haunts me each time I stand to preach.
What if they catch me preaching without a license?
I mean, I don’t carry my license around with me. It’s actually more of a certificate. I guess I could carry it in it’s frame, but it is a bit bulky. I don’t have a small copy that fits in my wallet or anything. Here are some possibilities for offenses I could be charged with if the preaching police show up one day.
- Failure to provide proof of being licensed
- Preaching faster than the preaching limit
- Failure to yield when someone gives an “Amen!!!”
- Preaching too long and running a red light or a stop sign.
Obviously there is no such thing as the preaching police. At least not that I know of. But if they need to see my license we will need to make a trip to house. I’m sure I can find it.
What about you? Are you licensed to do what you do?
***I hope you found this funny. I LOL’d as I wrote this. However, I did not ROTFLOL or LMBO***
If The Preaching Police Show Up
***Lately many of my posts have been a bit serious. Time for a change of pace***
A little over a decade ago I announced a call to ministry. This followed wrestling with my decision and what it meant for me. Would I? Wouldn’t I? How do I know? This process dealt with lots of questions and few tangible answers. Then our pastor at the time did the next logical thing.
He led our church to license me just like all preachers since Peter and Paul have been licensed. I do not think Mary was ever licensed, but I digress. (If you didn’t get that one, well I just feel sad for you.)
I have never pastured a church. Nor have I pastored a church or preached in a truly official capacity either. I’ve made a few cameos and pitched in when needed. But I have never been a regular preacher in a regular church setting.
However, I have had a regular preaching gig now for eight years now. I lead and preach at a service at local campground. I do this each week May through October. One question haunts me each time I stand to preach.
What if they catch me preaching without a license?
I mean, I don’t carry my license around with me. It’s actually more of a certificate. I guess I could carry it in it’s frame, but it is a bit bulky. I don’t have a small copy that fits in my wallet or anything. Here are some possibilities for offenses I could be charged with if the preaching police show up one day.
- Failure to provide proof of being licensed
- Preaching faster than the preaching limit
- Failure to yield when someone gives an “Amen!!!”
- Preaching too long and running a red light or a stop sign.
Obviously there is no such thing as the preaching police. At least not that I know of. But if they need to see my license we will need to make a trip to house. I’m sure I can find it.
What about you? Are you licensed to do what you do?
***I hope you found this funny. I LOL’d as I wrote this. However, I did not ROTFLOL or LMBO***
The Haircut Blog
Every two weeks, like clockwork, my wife gives me a haircut. As a matter of fact, I will be getting my hairs cut this weekend. Depending on which side of a full moon the haircut takes place, there is more hair or less. Once I had a dream that I went to get my haircut in a barber shop. Sitting there were several writers whose work I admire.
Stephen King was there. We talked about The Stand. I told him that I read his book on writing and that it was an inspiration.
John Grisham was there. I told him that I really liked The Testament and told him how this novel had an impact on my life once upon a time.
Ann Lamott is there. I’m not sure why she’s there since she has dreads and she’s a lady. Most barber shops that I go to are men only. In fact, women weren’t allowed in barbershops not too long ago, just like men should never be allowed in beauty shops.
Stephen Lawhead is there. I’m not sure why he’s come all the way from England to get a haircut. We talk about the Pendragon Cycle, the King Raven series and the Endless Knot series.
There are some other writers sitting around. After a while, they look at me and say, “What have you written?”
Now some might be intimidated by such heavy hitters asking that question. Not me. I’m secure in my little musings and ramblings. I have no fear in answering them. I’m proud of what I do.
I’m a blogger.
Jesus Geeks
I’m sure that most of you who read my blog remember the DC Talk song from a few years back called Jesus Freak. It was this song that made it cool to combine rock, rap and Jesus music. DC Talk sang about being somene who is totally sold out to Jesus to the point of being labeled a freak. It describes a radical lifestyle. However, they really missed out on a demographic in the Christian community that I would like to rectify. That’s right, I’m talking about the Jesus Geek.
Maybe you’ve seen the Jesus Geek. He is the one who quickly answers all of the questions in Sunday School ( or Life Group, Cell Group or some other term if you go to a “with it” church). He never gives anyone a chance to answer any questions in his attempt to show everyone what he learned when got up at 4 a.m. that morning to read fifty chapters of his Bible. You will also get to hear how he cross-referenced his Strong’s Concordance for an hour or two.
This guy still has all of his Promise Keepers paraphenelia (ok, I’m not trying to leave you ladies out. Exchange Promise Keepers for Beth Moore Live or Joyce Meyer event if you are a lady). He wears a Jesus Is The Real Thing shirt that looks like a Coca-Cola shirt with pride. Of course, he’s wearing this one because his Jesus shirt that looks like a Reese’s peanut butter cup shirt and says Jesus is dirty.
This guy isn’t satisfied with a Jesus fish on the back of his car. His fish is swallowing the Darwin fish parody. There’s a good chance there is a Pro-Life bumper sticker on the back of his car. There may also be a gun rights bumper sticker too, because he read somewhere in those earlier fifty chapters that Christians must be strong Second Amendment rights defenders. Or maybe he heard that on a local Christian AM radio station. He can’t really remember and can’t be bothered with those details.
I could go on, but I think I’ll stop. If you recognize yourself in any of this, please don’t take offense. I can only talk about this because I’ve either done or considered all of these things
After all, I am Jesus Geek.
What would people say if they knew I was a Jesus Geek? What would people say if they knew it was true?
How about you? Are you a Jesus Geek? Do you know and love one?
The Origin of The Deuce
If there is one question I am asked almost daily it is this: Larry, how did you become The Deuce? Does it have something with a card game? Did you roll 2′s time after time playing the board game Aggravation? Do you have two big toes? Well, yes I do have two big toes, but that has nothing to do with me being called The Deuce. Prepare yourself for some time travel. We are going to enter the Wayback Machine and travel to April, 1969 to see how I became The Deuce.
In April, 1969, my dad became employed by South Central Bell. Shortly after being hired some of his co-workers were attempting to back a trailer into a parking spot. These co-workers were having no luck in backing this trailer into the spot. My dad, the original Larry Carter, jumped into the truck and backed the trailer into the spot on his first attempt. One of the other guys looked at him and said, “Your an ace, aren’t you?” The name stuck and for the next thirty years (and I’m sure even now) my dad was called Ace by everyone at the phone company.
Since I was named after my dad (I am Larry Carter II) and he is the Ace, I became the Deuce.
And now you know the rest of the story.
Now, you may wonder out loud, “What does that have to do with anything? Where is your usual story about faith? I feel shortchanged now.” Sorry, let’s see how I can rectify that.
If you read Philippians, Paul will tell you that he is a Pharisee of the Pharisees, Hebrew of the Hebrews, from the tribe of Benjamin and zealous. Yet he considers all of that rubbish compared to knowing Christ. In other words, his origins are nothing compared to the One he follows.
While I may have just told you a charming story that I hold dear about why I have a name like LarryThe Deuce on Twitter, it really isn’t anything compared to knowing Christ.
How about you? What do you hold dear that really isn’t anything compared to knowing Christ?
