Home > Christianity, Church, Faith > Before You Leave That Church…..

Before You Leave That Church…..

I recently recognized that I left a church a year ago. My family and I had been a part of this church for seventeen years, though my wife had been part of it for most of her life before we married.

Perhaps you are thinking about leaving your church and searching for another. I want to implore you to stop and think about it. Wait. I waited a long time before I changed churches. All told, I waited approximately six years from when I wanted to leave until I did. Even then, my hand was forced a bit. I simply wanted leaving to be the last resort.

So, before you leave that church:

Make Sure

Be patient.  Don’t leave just because something happened (unless it is some extreme issue).  Take your time leaving.  Don’t be in a rush.  Just because things are tough or not the way you want them doesn’t mean you have to make a hasty retreat.  It may be that the Lord is doing something through you being there.  Make sure  that it is the right time to leave.

Cool Your Jets

Don’t leave mad.  If you are angry, cool off first.  Let the heat dissipate.  It might not be as bad as you think after the emotions are over.

Leave Well

Leave on good terms.  Continue to make friends as you leave.  Build people up through your leaving.  Speak well of people. 

Bring Closure

Finish your commitments.  Resign any positions that you have, such as being a deacon in the church.  If possible, say goodbye to those you with whom you have made your church home.  Don’t leave anything hanging.

I give this advice as one who has broken all of these at one time or another when leaving church.  Like I mentioned in an earlier post, good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.

What have you done when you have  left a church in the past?  Did you do these?  What would you add?

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  1. August 23, 2012 at 4:59 am

    My situation is obviously different than yours Larry but what you say can also apply to pastors. I have left some places well; others not so. Good advice here.

  2. August 23, 2012 at 7:15 am

    Yes, good advice, Larry. My church has been through lots of ups and down in the last 11 years that I’ve been there. I wouldn’t ever want my decision to leave to be a knee jerk reaction. It needs to be a decision we make after much prayer…not something we do out of anger.

  3. jonstolpe
    August 23, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    Larry, this is good advice. My wife and I have been at our church for 11+ years. We left our previous church so we could attend a church much closer to our home. Thankfully, we were able to leave a good terms.

  4. August 23, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    Good advice.

  5. August 23, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    Solid advice, Larry. Should’ve read this 3 months ago.

  6. October 9, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    Thank you, I appreciate this! I’ve been struggling with if I should or shouldnt leave my church for the last 2 years, I’ve been through the anger and I’ve allowed it to dissippate, so now I am just seriously taking time to hear God and make sure it’s time. I thin k deep inside I know it is, I’m just afraid to leave. If you have a moment, I’d appreciate you stopping by my blog and reading my story to share your thoughts. 🙂

    • October 9, 2012 at 9:43 pm

      Sure will. It may be Thursday before I get a chance. Thanks for coming by here and following.

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