Home > Christianity, Church, Faith > From The Archives: Who Would Give Your Eulogy?

From The Archives: Who Would Give Your Eulogy?

This post was first published around two years ago.

Do you ever wonder who would be your pall bearers if you died?  I don’t have a huge number of people to do the job.  I imagine that some people from my church would take care of the job if called upon.  However, I also wonder another question.  Who would give my eulogy if I passed away?   I’m not talking about my pastor or a family member.  I’m talking about someone outside of the normal who would stand up and give an accurate telling of what my life was like.  My choices, if left up to me, would be quite narrow.

I can think of possibly three people who could do the job.  One is my dearest friend from before marriage, Chris.  The problem with this is that I have really let our friendship lapse.  I know that Chris would do anything for me if I asked.  Last year he drove out and took a picture of a big chicken at a convenience store in Newport, Tennessee for me.  However, I haven’t seen him now in 14 or 15 years.  For a guy who I used to run around with for about 45 of 52 Saturday nights in a year, I haven’t done a good job of maintaining our friendship.

Another possibility would my friend, Matt Cannon.  Check out his Seeking Pastor blog. I used to be  Matt’s supervisor and we were friends for several years at our employer.  I do better keeping up with Matt through Facebook, Twitter and his blog.  However, I haven’t personally seen him now since he left our employer, unless you count, of course, a video he posted of himself.  Again, I haven’t done the best job of maintaining our friendship.

My third choice would be my friend, David Anderson.  David doesn’t have a blog, but we go on break together everyday.  At this point in my life, David probably knows me better than anyone outside of my family.  He knows all of the warts in my life.  He knows what kind of jerk I can be.  He puts up with all kinds of my “junk”.  At this juncture of my life, he would probably be the best candidate to give my eulogy.  Hopefully, there will be no need for his services anytime soon.

What is missing among this group?  Someone from my community or church.  Here is why that is so.  I don’t spend any time with anyone to develop that kind of relationship.  I don’t invest in relationships with anyone at my church or in my community.  Here is how it goes down with the folks in my area.  I see them for a brief time on Sunday.  I might run into someone at the store.  I might see them out running or walking on the bike trail.  I might see them at a ballgame or a school function.   But do I invest in anyone in what I now call my hometown so that they would know me well enough to give my eulogy.  No, not really.  It’s a failing of mine.  I go to work.  I come home.  I do my thing.  I do it all again. And again.  And again.  But except for what are really brief encounters, I don’t invest the time needed to develop the relationships needed for anyone to give my eulogy.

What about you?  Have you invested in someone enough that they would be able to give your eulogy?  I hope that you’ve done a better job than me.

UPDATE: Since this was first published, I still haven’t seen my friend Chris, though we have emailed some.  I saw Matt a few months later when we went to see Jon Acuff speak in Knoxville.  He has become a full-time pastor and rarely writes his blog anymore.  My friend David no longer works at the same employer that I do, but we  text, go to lunch occasionally and I ran into him while waiting to get gas the other night.

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  1. May 2, 2013 at 7:00 am

    I have a best friend from college. We still get together about 3-4 times a year for lunch at an almost centrally located Pizza Hut. Years ago we made a pact that we would do each others funerals. ‘Course one of us gets stiffed in the process. 🙂 Doug has been my friend for over 40 years. The only other one would by my wife and I’m not sure I can trust her with saying the right/good things. I have several friends who may come to the funeral (but I am being cremated so don’t know if that will work). I just have to pay them to say something nice I reckon.

    • May 2, 2013 at 7:15 am

      Bill, you could always video yourself. I’ve thought about doing that.

  2. May 2, 2013 at 9:50 am

    I’d make my buddy Chris do it, for a couple of reasons.

    1. He’s been my best friend for lots of years, and we’ve each been there during the ups and downs of the other.

    2. He HATES speaking in public, so it’d kinda be funny. My last revenge!

  3. May 2, 2013 at 6:45 pm

    Well brother you have gave me something to think about…I have a couple of friends who know me well, we connect whenever we can. My one friends sings mountain gospel and I want her to sing, ain’t no grave gonna hold her body down”. I like your idea of video taping oneself …hummmm…and Bill’s idea of paying someone to say nice things about me…….Only words I want to hear is from the Lord, “well done my faithful servant”. You two are funny.

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