Home > Blogging, Christianity, Faith, Humor > Hi-LARRY-ity #10: 5 Cars Jesus Would Not Drive

Hi-LARRY-ity #10: 5 Cars Jesus Would Not Drive

Yesterday I asked the question, “What kind of car would Jesus drive?” Here are some possible answers to what he would not drive.

1. Mazda — Jesus never did zoom, zoom, zoom anywhere. He was very methodical in where he went. Just ask Mary and Martha. Jesus waited until after Lazarus died before He showed up. Of course, for them He was late. In His mind, He was right on time.

2. Mercedes-Benz — Not because this is an expensive, German luxury car. No, it’s because all His friends don’t drive Porsches and He never had to make amends to anyone.

3. Kia — Somehow I don’t think that Motley Crue is a band that Jesus would have listed as one of His favorites. Sure, He hung out with sinners, and these guys would probably fit that category, but I’m not sure Jesus was a hard rock/hair metal band kind of guy. For sure, He didn’t need a car to kick-start His heart. No, He was the one kick-starting everyone else’s heart.

4. Ford — Sure, their trucks are built Ford tough, but does Jesus really need something that needs to be fixed or repaired daily or found on the road dead?

5. Chevrolet — I know, it’s like a rock. But He is the Rock. Kind of trumps that one, right? And, of course, it goes with baseball, hot dogs and apple pie, but Jesus was a Jew. Unless those hot dogs were Hebrew National, chances are he’s not eating one in a Chevy on the way to the old ballgame with a pie in the back seat.

What kind of car do you think Jesus would not drive?

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  1. August 2, 2013 at 6:06 am

    CALLED AND CHOSEN

    Matthew 22:14 For many are called , but few are chosen.”

    Definition of called: Invited or summoned.

    Definition of chosen: Those who are eligible or suited for election. Elected and chosen are synonymous.

    WHO ARE THE CALLED?

    Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.

    Every person who has heard the gospel has been called. The call is not limited to a select few who have been predestined for salvation.

    WHO ARE THE CHOSEN (THE ELECTED)?

    The chosen are the ones who are obedient to the call of the gospel.
    The chosen are those who have 1. Faith: John 3:16

    The chosen are those who 2. Repent: Acts 3:19 (Repent means to make the commitment to turn from sin and turn toward God).

    The chosen are those who 3. Confess: Roman 10:9-10

    The chosen are those who are 4. Baptized in water: Acts 2:38

    The chosen are not those who were supposedly, unconditionally selected, for salvation. The chosen have to be suited for election.

    THE CALLED WHO ARE NOT CHOSEN.

    Matthew 22:2-3 “the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son. 3 And he sent out his slaves to call those who had been invited to the wedding feast, and they were unwilling to come.

    Many have had the gospel preached to them, but of their own free-will have rejected the call. If men reject the gift of eternal life by rejecting Jesus as Lord and Savior; then they have been called, but not chosen.

    Matthew 22:11-14 “But when the king came to look over the dinner quests, he saw a man there who was not dressed in wedding clothes, 12 and he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you come in here without wedding clothes?” 13 Then the king said to the servants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ 14 For many are called but few are chosen.”

    This wedding quest was disinvited. He was called but not chosen ; because he was not suitable to be chosen. Improper clothing was a big deal.

    Galatalians 3:27 For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.

    DO YOU HAVE THE PROPER WEDDING CLOTHES TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD.

    When you stand before the KING OF KINGS are you going to be speechless when He asks; where are your wedding clothes? WHAT WILL YOU SAY WHEN HE ASKS YOU WHY YOU REJECTED IMMERSION IN WATER FOR THE FORGIVENESS OF YOUR SINS. WHAT WILL YOU ANSWER BE, WHEN JESUS ASKS YOU WHY YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD ENTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD WITH BEING CLOTHED IN CHRIST?

    MANY ARE CALLED BUT FEW ARE CHOSEN!

    YOU ARE INVITED TO FOLLOW MY CHRISTIAN BLOG. Google search>>>>>steve finnell a christian view

    • August 2, 2013 at 6:16 am

      Thanks for stopping by, friend, but that probably isn’t the best way to get visitors to your blog.

  2. August 2, 2013 at 9:34 am

    Jesus would drive a Geo Tracker. I think that fits the description of what Jesus would like like in Isaiah.

  3. rickd3352013
    August 2, 2013 at 11:52 am

    Larry The Deuce :
    Thanks for stopping by, friend, but that probably isn’t the best way to get visitors to your blog.

    Best short response yet to that kind of behavior, Larry 🙂

  4. August 2, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    Another reason he wouldn’t buy a Kia–one day he may have to sell his Soul.

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