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Hi-LARRY-ity #11: 5 Things That Would Liven Up A Church Service

It’s time for another edition of Hi-LARRY-ity, where I look at things that make me laugh and share them with unsuspecting blog readers.  Today we’re taking a look at five things that would liven up a church service.

1.       Entering the pulpit with the aid of a fog machine.

2.       Cheerleaders to help the pastor make his points.  Can you say, “R-E-P.  E-N-T”?

3.       Someone dressed up as a mascot.  At least as long as they aren’t dressed up as snakes or wolves in sheep’s clothing.

4.       Moonwalking across the stage after making a great point and receiving a loud bellow from the Amen corner.

5.       Dropping the microphone like Eminem when you are done with the sermon.

How would you liven up a church service?

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  1. August 9, 2013 at 6:33 am

    I would love to see them drop the mike. And a mascot would be nice. As long as it’s a cute dog or something.

  2. Ricky Anderson
    August 9, 2013 at 8:38 am

    Wired chairs. Fall asleep? ZZZAP! Playing Words With Friends? Zap!

    • August 9, 2013 at 8:42 am

      I like the wired chairs. Reminds of the Puritans with the sticks in church. If someone fell asleep , they had a feather on the end to tickle under their noses. If they continued, they turned it around and whacked them with it. Fun loving guys, those Putitans.

  3. August 9, 2013 at 9:52 am

    Door prizes: highest hand raise, loudest Amen, longest time maintaining eye contact. Penalties if your kid’s number gets called.

    • August 9, 2013 at 10:28 am

      Jan, I remember that walk of shame when the number gets called. Now they could just text you and no one would know.

      • August 9, 2013 at 1:55 pm

        Truth: I once called out, “Bingo!” and sauntered out with my head held high.

      • August 9, 2013 at 2:37 pm

        Hahahahaha

  4. August 9, 2013 at 10:45 am

    Tables and chairs and breakfast served as we listen, oh yeah and dancing on stage and in the isle.

  5. August 9, 2013 at 6:43 pm

    how about the pastor not moving his feet but leaning like Michael Jackson did in Smooth Criminal. The high pitch sound he used to make also works but leave off the crotch grab. That may be over the top. Or you can have the associate/youth introduce you with “And heeeeeere’s Larry” with the worship playing some song.

    • August 9, 2013 at 7:02 pm

      Bill, I actually want m theme/entrance music to be The Dick Van Dyke Show theme.

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