Home > Blogging, Christianity, Church, Humor > Hi-LARRY-ity #12: 5 Ways To Tell If You Are A Fundamentalist

Hi-LARRY-ity #12: 5 Ways To Tell If You Are A Fundamentalist

Most everyone who reads this blog probably grew up in church.  Some of us may have even grown up Fundamentalist.  If not, we have probably been influenced by Fundamentalists.  The question is, how do we know if we are one?  Here are five ways that we might be able to tell if we, indeed, are a Fundamentalist.

  1. Instead of playing Old Maid, you only know one or two.
  2. When you think of Go Fish, you think of getting up early on a Saturday morning.
  3. You don’t drink, don’t chew, don’t go with girls that do.  Unless, of course, you’re a girl and there is no rhyme for  that one.
  4. The Beehive and the Bouffant is still in style.
  5. You are surprised to find out that King James was more than a Bible.

What other ways might you be able to determine that you are a Fundamentalist?

  1. August 16, 2013 at 2:42 am

    Larry, this is hilarious, and reminds me of that old Jeff Foxworthy bit, “You might be a redneck…” Only, it’s “you might be a Fundamentalist.” 😉

    Let’s see…

    If you think Harry Potter is the devil, you might be a Fundamentalist.

    If you call the NIV the “Not Included Version,” you might be a fundamentalist.

    If your church has both kinds–Southern and Baptist–you might be a Fundamentalist.

    If you call your baptistry a “cement pond,” you might be a fundamentalist who watches too much Beverly Hillbillies.

    If you decry the theology of the foot-washing Freewill Baptists as being “too liberal,” you might be a Fundamentalist who hates cleanliness. But you know there’s just something that’s not quite right about serving communion immediately following a foot washing.

    If your choice of Bible is like Highlander, “There can be only one,” the KJV, you might be a Fundamentalist. And, no, no sequels to that movie were ever made.

    Sorry to spam your comments, Larry, but you got my wheels spinning. 🙂

  2. August 16, 2013 at 7:13 am

    Your prayers contain more “thee’s” and “thy’s” than a Shakespearian play.

  3. August 16, 2013 at 7:42 am

    I’m a fundamentalist – 15% fun, 85% mental.

    Seriously? Chad’s follow-on stuff had me rolling on the floor.

  4. Ricky Anderson
    August 16, 2013 at 8:41 am

    You would never dream of debating a theological point with the preacher after his sermon…but you will time him on a stopwatch each week and chide him if he goes over 20 minutes.

    Also that would make you my grandpa; not sure if it makes you a Fundie.

  5. August 16, 2013 at 9:35 am

    So, now I’m pretty sure I was raised Fundamentalist and didn’t know it.

    For me: You can eat all the peppermints you like in church, but don’t even think about getting up to use the washroom during service. Only “those” kids with “those” parents allow that sort of shenanigans.

  6. August 16, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    You know what culottes are, were pretty sure Amy Grant and Michael W Smith were tools of the devil in the ’80’s and there is absolutely NO CLAPPING in church!

  1. August 16, 2013 at 3:39 am
  2. August 17, 2013 at 1:14 am

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