Home > Christianity, Church, Faith > Why I Failed At Being A Small Groups Pastor (And I’m OK With That)

Why I Failed At Being A Small Groups Pastor (And I’m OK With That)

Some of you might recall that my church asked me to head up our small groups a while back.  The purpose was to pastor the small group leaders and help lead our groups to another level.  The result?

I failed miserably.

I think some might try to be kind and say that isn’t so, but based on my own view of the situation, there is no other way to describe it.

So, why did I fail at this very important position?  I can think of at least three reasons.

One is that I don’t think I was equipped for a position like this.  I believe that a small groups pastor is someone who has to able to connect to people easily.  This is one of my greatest weaknesses.  Being able to connect to people and connect others is extremely important.  I have absolutely no idea how to go about doing this.  In fact, too often I’m just the opposite.

Another is time.  During 2014 the demands of my job have increased.  I have had to spend more and more time working that has played a factor in my failure.  Since July, my son has been practicing football until 7:00 p.m. each night.  When school started, we had to have him to school at 6:45 each day for a strength and conditioning class.  I leave my home just after 6:00 a.m. each morning and get home around 7:30 p.m.  I just haven’t had much more to give to anything else in my life.

The final reason that I failed is that I simply don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing within my church any more.  Due to everything else, we have really only been able to attend our Sunday morning service each week.  That’s the only connection we’ve had for two months now and it won’t let up until November.  Quite honestly, I feel like I’m barely hanging on by a thread right now.  I’m plumb worn out.  I simply don’t know what my role at church is any longer.  Please don’t confuse that with any dissatisfaction on my part with my church.

So, why am I ok with this?

I think it’s a season.  It’s a season that I will have to go through one more time after this year.  It’s a season that I’m spending a lot of time with my family.  I’m there for my son daily.  He won’t be here forever.

So, what’s next?  I don’t know.  I’m looking forward to November when we will be able to get back to our Breaking Bread on Wednesday nights.  There will be some other opportunities during the next few months to connect back to our brothers and sisters at church.  Things will get better.

Do you ever have weird season in life?  Have you ever struggled to know your role 

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  1. September 16, 2014 at 2:43 am

    Yes! Even though I quit the workforce long ago, I am currently watching over my ailing mother and right now I can’t even think straight. I’m like “What am I supposed to do now?” But like you said, it’s only for a season. Hopefully a long season…

    • September 16, 2014 at 9:12 pm

      Sounds like you are where you are supposed to be right now.

  2. skacyoung
    September 16, 2014 at 5:02 am

    The cool thing is that you recognized it. How many to do we add seasons to our seasons? Then we underperform.

  3. September 16, 2014 at 8:26 am

    I would agree with skacyoung above. It is good you recognized it. And you should not nor should you be made to feel guilty because of it. You will find your niche. Right now it is your family. He will remember it long past the small groups.

    • September 16, 2014 at 9:11 pm

      Thanks Bill. No, I definitely don’t feel guilty.

  4. robshep
    September 16, 2014 at 11:51 am

    I think your perspective is right on. With the perspective the groups is not a failure but a learning opportunity. You can’t do x,y, and z and invest in your family during this season.

    • September 16, 2014 at 9:11 pm

      Thanks rob. A learning opportunity is exactly what it is.

  5. September 16, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    Oh Larry. I completely that not knowing what your role is or being in different season. It’s an adjustment. We need to lean into Him and trust. And, in regards to failing…that’s how we grow. Still learning this too. 🙂

  6. September 16, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    Some seasons we are able to serve more, good for you for realizing that’s the case. It’s clear where your heart is.

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