A New Perspective On Relationships
I’ve been writing a bit lately about relationships. Friendship. Or as I put it last week, camaraderie. I received some fantastic responses to that one as I continue to evaluate the relationships in my life.
I am in the middle of hiring a new person to my team. I was going over the pre-hiring test with a candidate this week and, in the process, referred back to my own test for comparison. Two things stood out.
One was that I came in about average, at best, in establishing new relationships. That didn’t really surprise me, though I didn’t recall seeing that before when I’ve looked at my results. I didn’t really need reinforcement of this fact in my life, I just needed to take a look at my life over the years.
The other thing I noticed had to do with maintaining relationships. I scored even worse in this category. Again, not a surprise. With more than a tinge of sadness I realize that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with anyone I went to high school or college with without Facebook. Same goes with old work buddies and more than a few other friends and pals along the way.
Here’s something I realized, though, as I’ve thought about all this. I can’t let a test, or past behavior, define. It would be easy to say that is just the way I am or that I was born that way. I can’t let being wired that way be an excuse for poor behavior. It’s more likely that I need to be rewired.
My friend, Rob, said that I might need to change my perspective about friends. Instead of classifying someone as a real-life or online friend, he said that, perhaps, I should just classify them as friends.
He is a perfect example. Somehow he and I came to know each other through our blogs. From there, we followed each other on Twitter. Later, we friended each other on Facebook. We even text each other from time to time. Rob even sent me a copy of his book a while back.
Life is about relationships. I really like them. What I’ve come to realize is that, like most things, they don’t come easy. They take work.
The easy thing would be to abandon them. Totally shut myself off by myself. But that isn’t what I was created for.
The Lord created us for relationships. I may be an introvert, but within that personality type, I can still enjoy relationships. It’s in relationships that we can most model the relationship we have with the Lord.